review
Southside Fish and Clam
Quick Summary
You'll work hard for less-than-good food at this combination fish market and eatery, a spinoff of the Lindenhurst original.
Eating out is supposed to give people a break. But I never worked so hard — and for so little reward — as at the new Southside Fish & Clam, a combination fish market and eatery and a spinoff of the Lindenhurst original.
At the reception desk of the nautically decorated spot, I’m handed a vibrating contraption with flashing lights, which goes off when a table is ready. After being seated, I take on the job of going to the counter to place the order. “Do you want your soup and appetizer before the main course?” I’m asked. Well, yes. I’m given little plastic bowls of Manhattan clam chowder and lobster bisque and paper cups for soda. Then, I'm handed another vibrator. Balancing the tray, I make my way to the soda counter, where I fill the cups. At last, I arrive back at the table.The soup is fairly decent. Some 15 minutes later, the vibrator goes off, announcing that chopped baked clams are ready.
Instead of real clam shells, the bready stuffing is packed into faux foil facsimiles (remember those from the 70s?). No sooner do I eat a forkful than the vibrator goes off again. By now, the table is a mess of trays and used paper plates. Since nobody clears anything, we bus our own detritus.A 2-pound lobster (cheap, at $19.95) is woefully overcooked. No lobster fork is on the tray — only a claw cracker, for which I have to lay out a $2 deposit (I don't think I ever had to pay for utensils before). “Cajun” catfish, touted on the menu as “broiled to perfection” is awash in an oily substance, crowned with a wet thatch of bread crumbs and the obligatory sprinkling of paprika. Mashed potatoes? The instant reconstituted sort.
The menu itself is an education. Filet of sole is stuffed with “homemade crabmeat.” Since, far as I know, only Mother Nature can make crabmeat, I ask a manager for clarification. “It’s imitation crab,” he says.
Now, I know who put the “oy” in “ahoy.”
Southside Fish & Clam is at 1095 Jericho Tpke., Commack, 631-486-8864
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